Father's homily this past Sunday was so great, well, at least for me personally. What he said was hitting home. The Gospel was about Our Dear Lord fed the multitude with only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, and somehow...well, we all know the story.
Father mentioned that often times when we are told to list all the gifts and weaknesses that we have, somehow the list of weaknesses is longer than the list of the gifts. More often than not, we don't realize that the weaknesses The Lord gives us can be viewed as His gifts too. We're often too concern with what we don't have, we're too concern with our weaknesses. The Lord gives the right amount of gifts to each of us to get to heaven,and He gives the right amount of blessings to make us happy, not one less and not one more. The Lord gives us weaknesses, so that we can turn to Him always. If we could do everything on our own, if we didn't have any weaknesses, we wouldn't turn to Him.
Well, this homily somehow was The Lord's answer to my whining. We moved up to Iowa about a year ago and I'm still having a hard time adjusting with our new life. This town is wonderful, a perfect place to raise a family, but it takes time for me to make it a home. DH likes it here. He loves his new job. I'm keeping my eyes toward my Blessed Mother to teach me to trust my husband, to let him lead this family the way St. Joseph led the Holy Family. It is hard, I have no idea how she could do it.
In Mississippi, we had a wonderful parish, with a holy priest. We know so many wonderful families, homeschooling families who are in the same boat with us journeying to heaven. I had my routine with The Lord in Holy Hour on Mondays, I'll just say that it was my comfort zone. I thought I had everything I need to be a Saint, after all that's what The Lord wants right? to make me a Saint.
Then suddenly, He took our family out of our comfort zone, My comfort zone, and He placed us here, in the middle of nowhere. Why? I don't know..no Holy Hour, no Catholic homeschooling group close by, no prayer group, nothing. I cried, wanting to go back to Mississippi. I whined, asking The Lord 'How can I be a Saint if I didn't have what I had in Mississippi?' where's my support? where are my friends?just like St. Francis and St. Clare, hand in hand in their journey to sainthood.
Then I read the story about St. Matilda and her love of the Gospel and Mass. I realized that I have all that I need, even here in Iowa....Mass, Gospel, and my family. All I need is to seek His Kingdom. It doesn't matter where, He'll provide the rest. Just like 5 loaves and 2 fish were presented to The Lord and He blessed them and made them abundant, I have to do the same. I have to present to Him everything that I have, and He'll do the rest. I keep reminding myself that this might be a new cross that He gives me. I realize that I might cling too much on what I had in Mississippi that I forgot about The Lord, whom I'm supposed to cling to. Just like father said in his homily, The Lord gives me blessings and gifts at the right amount to get me to heaven, not one less and not one more. I'm learning how to be grateful with my weaknesses, because His graces will suffice.
1 comment:
It is very difficult to be unrooted. Especially for women who plant roots and make a home. It is good that you are so reflective your trust in God, knowing that he wants the good for you. My husband has been threatening to move to the other side of the country and I have to say, it feels me with fear. But whenever, I turn to God in trust there is a peace that ensues. Maybe you will be the one to carve out a homeschooling community?
Post a Comment