Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I miss my time with The Lord

Our previous parish in Mississippi has Holy Hour on Mondays and Tuesdays.I remember the first time I went to Holy Hour, to be with The Lord. I was just curious, I didn't signed up, because I've never thought I would make it my "regular". As soon as I entered the chapel, there He was, He filled that small room with peace. I sat in the pew, and thought.."now what?" so I just sat there, and a few minutes later I decided to say my Rosary. After I was finished with my prayers, I sat again in silent, gazing at the One who has loved me first. There He was in the form of bread...my King.

After my first encounter with Him, I kept going back. Often times I said my Rosary, then I just sat in silent. His beauty amazes me. There were times that I was so tired, couldn't even pray, but just sit there without saying anything, just to be with Him. Being with Him and being able to just sit and rest was priceless.

So Monday nights were my time with Him. At 7 pm until 8 pm I would come and just be with Him. I remember being tired from daily activities, and I sat there. I remember being confused, and I sat there.

I remember I spent my time with The Lord begging Him to save the baby in my womb and let the baby to be born or at least if He wanted to take the baby with Him, I begged Him to make it quick. He did answer my prayers. He did make it quick and took the baby to heaven and gave me a tremendous peace of heart.

I remember I cried and I sat there. I remember writing to Him while I sat there with Him. I remember I was in pain knowing that wonderful women all around me were pregnant and I sat there with Him. I remember begging Him to bless us with another child, and I sat there. I remember being angry, and I sat there. I remember being jealous, and I sat there. I remember telling, well..my heart screamed actually "IT'S NOT FAIR" right in front of His face. I remember the pain from Mr.C's adoption journey, and I sat there with Him. I remember the joy bringing Mr. C to Him during Holy hour.

All moms need a rest from from their never ending work, caring their families. My rest was with with The Lord in Holy Hour. Since we moved up to Iowa, our current parish doesn't have Holy Hour, and I know something is missing.