Random Thoughts

First of all, for some reasons, I'm not able to post comments on the blogs that I'm following. My brain and state of life right now unable me to seat too long to figuring out how to do it or what the problem is. So, please know that I'm thinking of you and keep your intentions in my prayers.

Second of all, We've been having a long drought, we're looking forward for a really good down pouring rain.

Third of all, DH is looking for another job..again. Hopefully he can find a job that will challenge him enough. Of course a little bit more extra income will be nice to help us be out of debts. From my part, I'm hoping to move anyway, my whining is still the same, I need Catholic support from active Catholic homeschooling group nearby. I can't drive one hour each way to activities. Seems like our homeschooling group doesn't do much activities together as a group anyway, except First Friday Mass.

Fourth of all, one of the moms from our homeschooling group was a patient of Dr. H in Omaha. He cared for her high risk pregnancy. She did have multiple c-sections too. He recommended a certain way of closing that will make the wound heal better and to reduce to risk of scar tissue or something like that, so it will give more chances for more pregnancies. She asked her regular OB/GYN if he's able to close as Dr. H recommended, and her OB/GYN did.

That's what I'm going to do. At the beginning of my trimester I'll meet with the surgeon (my OB doesn't perform c-section). I'll ask him to close and care as Dr. H recommended to my friend. If he's not able, I'll switch and use the OB/GYN that my friend used. I'm hoping and praying that this surgeon will be able to do what I'm hoping him to do. I'm dragging my husband to this appointment so he can back me up. We need to do some research too about this so we'll look like we know what we're talking about when we meet the surgeon..lol...Will you pray for my intention?

Next, Tuesday will be our ultrasound. We'll find out whether it's pink or blue. We're so excited, especially Theresa. She's been praying begging for a baby boy, she thought that two boys and two girls will be neat. We keep telling her that she can ask whatever she wants, but The Good Lord will make the last decision anyway :))

Couple of weeks ago, I went to confession. I brought my internal battle to the Light. The priest told me that often times when we pray a lot over something, our attitude towards something that we don't like will chance. I know he is right. I wrote how much I'm scared about the c-section. Scared and worried about how this will be my last. Since the beginning of this pregnancy I've been praying about it.

With prayers come graces. I'm still praying about it, but I can feel that my attitude has changed. I'm slowly learning to let go. I'm still scared, but more to surrender scared. The Holy Spirit gives me consolation that The Good Lord Himself handpicks each child that will join our family. Nothing will ever happen unless He wills it. He will allow me to bear more children if He wants me to. If this will be my last pregnancy (I'm typing this with fear), then it is right to say that will be His will too.

 Just like I told Theresa, that we can ask Him for whatever we want, He'll surely 100 % give it to us if it's good for our souls. Now, the problem is I don't always think like this, there are times that I allow myself to be dragged by Satan to despair and worried. I guess it requires conscience efforts to keep myself in the right perspective.  

My heart is still aching for another adoption. I'm grateful and excited for this pregnancy, but somehow I feel that The Lord keeps bugging and putting this desire in my heart but He hasn't opened the door yet. I'm asking Him to take this desire if it's not His will, but so far, He is nourishing this desire more and more. Oh well, He'll reveal His plan in His own time.

We'll start school very early this year. July 30th will be our first school day. Hopefully we'll be able to finish what we need to finish before our long Christmas/baby break.

Well, hope all of you will have a blessed Sunday!!